Background

Positive psychology research has found that thriving relationships are foundational to our well-being. Relationships are at the center of Martin Seligman's PERMA model of flourishing. Christopher Peterson summed up the entire field of positive psychology in three words: other people matter. And having helmed the longest study of adult-development, Harvard psychiatrist George Vaillant found that our loving connections are the key ingredient to aging well.

What does it take to have great, loving relationships and reap all the inherent well-being effects? In fairy tales, happily-ever after just happens. However, in real life, healthy habits are what build happiness over the long haul.

Misconceptions and misbeliefs abound about what leads to lasting love. And they can be particularly damaging in the absence of healthy relationship role models or effective instruction in the skills needed to strengthen our bonds.

Aims

Our aim is to dispel common myths around relationships, present empirical research, and equip attendees with specific skills on how to strengthen relationships.

Method

In this interactive session, husband-and-wife team Suzie and James will give a brief overview of positive psychology findings on the importance of strong relationships. They will invite attendees to join them in the “relationship gym” to practice evidence-based exercises for strengthening relationships. They will discuss how our good intentions aren’t necessarily good for our relationship.

In particular, they will explore findings on the popular notion of sacrificing for one’s partner. Through research, real-life examples, and reflective activities, they will demonstrate how sacrificing often backfires in a relationship, and how a more nuanced approach to sacrificing can strengthen, rather than sabotage, relationships. 

Results

Attendees will have learned specific skills for applying positive psychology research to strengthen relationships.  

Conclusion

Flourishing relationships are foundational to well-being. Despite popular myths and negative behaviors that may have been modeled to us about relationships, the good news is there are skills we can all learn and practice to build love that lasts.